An Open Letter to my Baby Boy

My sweet Benjamin,

I imagine you reading through this old blog one day and realizing pretty quickly that there’s not quite as much written about you. Maybe you’ll wonder if I was too busy to take much notice of all of your firsts.  Maybe you’ll question if your tired mommy was just too exhausted to feel exhilarated by all of your adorable toddlerhood-ness.  Maybe you’ll wonder if I cared.   

Oh, Benjamin.  The thought breaks my heart because it is so terribly far from the truth. 

You, sweet boy, fill my days with laughter and movement (mostly running after you) and wonderful messes. You are so crazy full of life and light.  You’ve got this fire in your belly, and you wake up each day with such eagerness and excitement.  You, with your cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and cowboy gun (unquestionably the cutest thing any of us have ever seen), are ready to take on anything.  Your mantra: I do it myself!  World, you’ve been warned: This boy will take you by storm.

But then, your rough and tumble exterior falls to pieces, and I find myself cuddling on the couch with the sweetest three year old imaginable.  You look at me with your deep brown eyes and say “I wuv you, mommy.” And just like that, all is well and right in my world. 

You remind me to slow down, no – to stop altogether, and hold fast to these moments that will too quickly be no more.  Your sweet voice begging me to stop washing dishes and hold you is a precious gift to me.  Your insistence that I lay down with you to watch Lone Ranger rings like an alarm in my heart—these days will not last forever.  You, baby boy, will not always fit all snuggled on my lap and wrapped in my arms.  

So if you ever wonder where all of your stories are stored, look to me. Sure, I’m a little tired, and I’m a bit busier these days. And, yes, I have neglected this silly blog. 

But I have taken in every bit of you. 

And here’s what counts: your laugh, your smile, your silly quirks, and your great big love are leaving lasting imprints on my heart.

I love you forever.

Mommy